


Silent Night

by oddegg



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-09
Updated: 2010-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-12 02:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddegg/pseuds/oddegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world's a stage, and some of us are playing against type...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is partly adapted from a poem I wrote a few years ago. It's not very happy.

Kurt is an amazing performer.

People don’t realise just how good he is.

All they hear is the voice. All they see is the persona, the clothes. The co-ordinated, designer armour he puts on daily.

They notice the stance; the lifted chin, the exacting posture. They see the fierce way he moves down the halls like they’re his own personal catwalk and miss the way his arm is always crossed protectively in front of him, hand clutching his bag so hard his knuckles pop whiter even than his pale skin.

People – even friends – hear the sarcasm and the quick wit and never seem to notice how it builds a wire wall of barbed comments around him; marooning them in the no-man’s land of arms distance, even when it sounds like he’s inviting them into the joke.

It always amazes him. That no-one sees how paper thin his masks are.

But then, he’s intelligent and observant enough to see they’ve got troubles of their own. Why would they go looking for other peoples?

Why would they care?

* * *

Even Noah doesn’t see, and Kurt doesn’t expect him to.

He puts a lot of effort into seeming normal, after all.

So why should he imagine (hope, pray, _long_ that) his boyfriend will see past all the false scenery and characterisations that make up ‘Kurt Hummel’ when Kurt’s worked so very, very hard at building and preparing and painting them up?

That’s not what Noah’s in this for, after all. Is it?

He’s in this for the snap of the bitchy comment, for the appreciative smirk at his antics during class and glee. For the hot willing mouth and the tight ass that Kurt offers up to him.

He’s not in this for emotions. He’s not in this for _Kurt_.

* * *

So, yes. Kurt is a brilliant performer. He’s schooled his face and his voice and his body to only show what he thinks people will allow and accept.

He’s _disciplined_.

* * *

And when it gets too much? When it overwhelms him? Then even there he’s controlled.

Kurt has become very good at crying silently.

He lays next to Noah – sprawled on his back in the middle of the bed, lost in a dream – and he turns his face to the wall.

Fights for control and makes sure to curl his misery inward so he doesn’t shake the bed with sobs.

Bites down on the second knuckle, of the index finger, of his right hand: so no noise escapes.

He is very careful not to wake Noah.

And then, in the morning, he can put on his mask and start the performance again.

 


End file.
